To Do or NOT To Do

Here's a list of what is allowed in my house, and what isn't (and what I wish I could do).

Things Allowed

1. I can give kisses on lips and faces.
2. I can get on Mum's couch in her study.
3. I can shred my soft toys when I feel like it.
4. I can fall asleep on Mum's lap in the media room couch.
5. I can wake Daddy up by nudging him with my cold nose at 3am so that he can let me out to pee.
6. I can carry all my toys and leave them lying around the house and not worry about putting them back in the toy box. (I've got Mum and Dad to do that)
7. I can steal the occasional lacy panty and strut around the house especially when there are guests.
   
8. I can steal the occasional Daddy's stinky sock and hide it, so that he has to look for it to complete the set.
   
9. I can catch insects if they are unlucky enough to get into my house, and I eat them. Yummy!!
10. I can eat little prey animals if they are stupid enough to come into my garden.
11. I can greet anyone with a wagging tail and lots of kisses.
12. I can squeeze myself between my parents' legs, if they are standing up, to get an instant all over body rub for free.
    

Things NOT Allowed

1. I have never counter surfed at home, but I try it once in a blue moon at my Nanny's house, when no ones watching.
2. I have never had an accident in my house.
3. I can't jump onto the bed unless I've been invited.
4. I can't jump onto any couch unless I've been invited.
5. I never wake Mum up to let me out to pee, that's Daddy's job.
6. I can't hide my chicken leftovers in the garden, Mum digs them out and chucks it. (Hey Mummy, that's supposed to be my supper)
7. I can't jump up at the fence whenever the neighbour's cat runs around teasing me.
8. I can't jump up at guests.
9. I can't mouth anyone at anytime.
10. I can't walk out the door first.
11. I can't be scared of anything, except 4th of July fireworks. Mum and Dad are still working on that with me.
12. I have never growled at anyone or anything, ok, one exception, the neighbour's cat.
13. I have never taken a book to read, or shred. YET.
14. I have stolen a shoe or two, and chewed them, and Mum was not happy about that. She just told me in a low growly voice, "Leave it" and I've stopped being a shoe thief. Last time I committed the crime, I was a young puppy.
15. I can't beg for food, I have to lay down quietly while parents are eating. If I look at Dad while he eats, I annoy the crap out of him, and I get told to lay down.

As you can tell, I'm a restricted deprived Airedale. No hanky panky, naughty dog business. Mum and Dad still has friends who think they spoil me too much, but I don't think so!! Good thing that I like to make my parents feel proud of me.

Love,
Kimi